The Time of Your Life?
I feel stuck.
I’ve been here for a while. I think I thought if I kept pushing I’d find a way out. That’s the whole quicksand story - the more you fight the deeper you sink. What I’m doing isn’t working. The problem is, when you’re so far down it’s hard to see a way out.
I had a breakdown earlier this week. I planned to create a vlog driving over Hindmarsh Island and it wasn’t working out. The whole idea just felt so stupid and worthless. Add to that my skin has exploded over the last week and I don’t feel confident to be in front of a camera. How can I film a vlog without actually being in it…? It all got too much so I stopped the van and sat back in my chair and cried.
I’m living a life most people dream of, and if you look at my instagram photos you would think I’m having the time of my life. Sometimes I am but mostly I just feel like a fraud.
I came to a new low and after I had my cry I told myself I didn’t want to continue feeling the way I have. I needed a new frame of mind.
My first thought was to be more loving. Instead of berating myself at every move why not try supporting myself. That felt hard to do when I had spiralled so far down. Then I thought about all the times on my trip when I was living my best life. Where was I and what was I doing?
I made a decision to start doing all the things I loved to do. The things that make me happy. Maybe that would get me back to a more positive mindset.
I had to remind myself what they were again. I had been spending so much time working and pushing myself to create content that I had forgotten how to do the things I loved.
I made a list. All the things I love to do that make me happy.
Yoga, sit in the sun, stare out at a beautiful view, read a book, Be near water, listen to music and podcasts, go for a hike, talk to people - build connection.
I also made sure I was eating regular meals, drinking plenty of water and switching off my screens an hour before bed.
You know what happened? I went to bed that night with a smile on my face. And the next day I had the best day I’ve had in a very long time. Something else incredible happened too. Over the next few days I got 2 surprise phone calls and a bunch of messages checking in and wishing me well. I had been on my own for so long I had forgotten how important it was for me to connect with people around me.
It’s almost a week later and I am a lot closer to having the time of my life. I feel better, I’m really happy and my skin has pretty much completely cleared.
If you’re having a hard time snapping out of a down time, try doing all the things you love. It might just be the quickest solution to turn around a dark time in your life. And isn’t that what we’re here for - to enjoy the life we’re given. Make some time today to start doing the things you love and see where it takes you. And you don’t need to move in to a van and travel the country to figure it out. You know what they are.
Start living, and having the absolute best time of your life.
